Feminist Nightmare™ pt. 17262 by Kim Kardashian

Good morning, feminists~ Gossip Gal is here with the latest chai! Did you sleep well last night? Or rather, did you sleep productively?

For all my baddies who live under the rock, or maybe in a country that does not care for the Kardashians, here's the tea: The eldest sister, Kim, is back with feminism’s newest nightmare. This time, quite literally for bedtime, Kim K has decided that even our naps need a KPI, dropping the “Seamless Sculpt Face Wrap” for a more ‘productive’ sleep. Looks like she’s just redefined beauty sleep, turning it from a time to rest into a time to invest. 

Seamless Sculpt Face Wrap

Hard are the obstacles for the 21st-century woman, who expects them to look perfect, effortlessly, and still function like a normal human being with a life. That’s where the “morning shred” trend comes in; women prep for their beauty victory lap, slathering on anti-ageing creams, overnight masks, mouth taping, and chin straps. Even the hair isn’t spared — tucked into rollers, suffocating in a bonnet. And yes, our local Greek Gods are also busy with their own looksmaxxing regimes… but I shall keep quiet, lest fragile masculinity send me a legal notice. 

This is where Kim Kardashian, the undisputed queen of monetising a mood board, spotted a golden opportunity. Her latest launch on 29th July 2025, the Seamless Sculpt Face Wrap, promises to make the nightly beauty grind a little easier. It’s apparently infused with collagen and might as well be a mother's kiss, but we'll never know. After all, the lack of the latter is what keeps the beauty market bigger every year. Ouch.

Kim Kardashian

The campaign leaned into its own absurdity. Skims posted about it on Instagram with the caption, “Morning shed made even better,” as if calling it “better” makes its cultural impact any positive.

The reception, rightfully, has been mixed. While the wrap is pitched as a small mercy in the exhausting world of beauty maintenance, offering a combined respite for those already stretched thin by the time, effort and expense of keeping up appearances, let's call it what it truly is: a reminder that beauty is still work and now, it’s work you should do in your sleep. The product isn’t a rebellion against oppressive beauty standards; it’s just a neater, more trademarked way to fit inside them.

The think pieces came fast, calling it proof that beauty is just another form of oppression. But before you could even hit “post” on your rant, the jaw sculpt mask sold out. In a matter of hours. No fingers left to point when half the internet willingly coughed up ₹4,550 for collagen straps. And honestly, you don’t need to run Porter’s Five Forces to see the business model: insecurity sells itself. The only “economic” force at play is the one that has you zooming into your selfies at 2 am, tilting your head under bad lighting, and wondering what feature should’ve been different. You hate your jawline? Well, so does Kim.

And now that you’ve definitely thought “gals, we’re never making it out of the patriarchy” at least once, let’s be real for a second. Since childhood, we’ve been spoon-fed the princess narrative. Once upon a time, princesses woke up to true love’s kiss; now they wake up to snatched jawlines or pay with their savings until they do. After all, good things only happen to pretty girls, right?! Sounds surprising until you realise that you’ve been fed these ideas your entire life. If only you were fed some self-love instead...

The trend itself is a bit cursed — why can’t a girl just sleep? But nope, even REM cycles are now monetised. In hustle culture, rest is “alt”, and beauty is productivity– a prettier burden only women carry. We live in such a lookist society that it’s nearly impossible to tell self-care apart from self-surveillance. The constant need to announce conformity by performing beauty, knowing the goalposts shift every two years.

And let's not act like we haven’t been here before. We grew up with hair oil champis. ubtan for tan removal, and multani mitti for acne; except those came from Nani’s kitchen, not a billionaire’s marketing team. Now? Same ritual, just with collagen receipts and a heap of plastic waste.

Multani Mitti

So go on, get that jawline in your sleep. But don’t forget: you just paid a billionaire to let your pillow work overtime. Capitalism and patriarchy in one neat purchase? Pick a struggle!

To each their own– whether you’re living the clean girl aesthetic or swearing it’s “for me”. Either way, good luck feeling pretty until the next product that calls your natural body ugly launches. Stings, but you know you love me for my honesty.

xoxo,

💋 Gossip Gal💋