Women, Desire, and the Policing of Female Sexuality

Kritika Bhatia
Mar 10
5 min read

The open representation of female sexuality has always been a caged subject behind the shallow walls of man-made moral policing. Female sexuality is excessively repressed, and those who try to express it are heavily shamed. In many cultures, religions, and societies, female sexuality is conveniently dragged behind the veils. Mythological stories and folktales are a testimony of the same, as most female characters who embody and express sexual desire are portrayed as villains and vamps. They were considered to be evil and bore punishments. This villainization of women with sexual and romantic desires has led to a stigmatized perception of the same in the present society.

Let's briefly read the stories of mythical female characters expressing sexual desires and how the narrative was built around them.

Surpanakha

Surpanakha is a demoness character and the sister of Ravana, the main villain, in an Indian epic, The Ramayana. Her birth name was Meenakshi, but she is popularly known as Surpanakha, which means “ the one with long and sharp fingernails,” a name given to her by her brother Ravana.

In the epic, the character of Rama is of an uttam purush, the ideal man, exemplar of virtue, and his wife, Sita, is portrayed as the epitome of femininity and divinity. On the other hand, Surpanakha is mocked due to her physical appearance, choices, and gender (Dirghangi, 2019). Surpanakha verbally expresses her desire towards Lord Rama, which leads to her consequent mutilation, by Lakshmana, Rama’s brother. He chopped off her nose and ears as a reaction to her “perceived threat.” There have been numerous efforts justifying her mutilation ever since, mainly based on the arguments questioning her ethics and morals. She was considered to be immodest, bold, and ferocious, as no woman of so-called good character would approach a man directly for sexual intercourse. Certain texts suggest that her mutilation was also justified based upon her act of crossing her gender boundary, dominion, and expression of sexuality (Dirghangi, 2019).

Her character is deeply misjudged and overlooked. In her book, “Lanka’s Princess”, Kavita Kané tries to narrate the story from the point of view of Surpanakha, who was always trying hard to attain recognition from her parents. Her husband and lover, Vidyuthjihva, was killed by Ravana due to enmity between the two clans. As a child, she was always mocked by her mother and Ravana. There were more sides to her than explored by most mainstream texts.

Mahadevi Akka

Akka Mahadevi was a famous mystic saint of the medieval age. She used to utter vachanas in Kannada that were oral versions of her spiritual experiences (Kannan, 2014).

Born in the 12th century in the north Karnataka region, she used to collect deeksha (religious initiation, a blessing) in her childhood. This little girl was told that her husband was Lord Shiva, and she grew up to believe that rigidly.

Her vachanas were directly addressed to Chennamaillikarjuna, who was her favorite deity and a form of Shiva himself. Certain unforeseen circumstances led her to marry Kaushika, but she married him on three conditions. When these conditions were broken by her husband, she walked away, leaving everything behind.

She walked naked, her tresses covering her body, to the town of Kalyana, where saints lived. She was questioned about her vairagya (detachment from worldly desires) many times by various spiritual leaders, but she always won over them with her virtuous answers.

She was always in search of oneness with Lord Shiva through deep ethereal transcendence (Kannan, 2014). Mahadevi rejected all the worldly men and was devoted to Lord Shiva. She is the epitome of women’s assertiveness, boldness, and liberation. She was the pioneer of womanhood in poetry (Dabbe, 1989).

Rati

Rati is the Hindu goddess of sexual desires, lust, and seduction. Her husband, Kama Dev, is the god of love. Many sexual positions have been named after Rati. Despite popular belief, some texts suggest that she is not the goddess of childbirth and motherhood; rather she is focused on the pleasures and arousal from sexual activities.

She is portrayed as a sexually blissful goddess who is dedicated to her husband. According to a legend, Kama Dev incited the anger of Lord Shiva, who in return turned Kama Dev into ashes. When Rati came to know about this, she went into a state of grief. Later, due to her continuous pursuits, it was promised to her that he would be granted a boon of rebirth and she would be reunited with him. This came to be true when she took the form of a maid, Mayavati and Kama Dev, her beloved, was reincarnated as the son of Lord Krishna and Rukmini, Pradyumna. It is believed that she played a vital role in the upbringing of Pradyumna. Later on, they both realised their actual forms and rekindled together.

Many people, especially women, worship Rati to attain their soulmate and physical compatibility.

Impact of repression of female sexuality

These mythical stories represent female desire, love, and sexuality and how they were condemned by society. The blatant discrimination against women and their sexuality has negatively impacted the sexual lives of both women and men.

Women are objectified in both religious and sexual aspects (Babar, 2019). They are expected to be slaves to the patriarchal society, leaving no room for female sexual liberation, yet they are perceived and glorified as divine goddesses, who should abstain from having sexual desires. Due to this even their partners refrain from having erotic moments with them. For example, the custom of Sati, where women were burnt alive on their husbands funeral pyre, was very prevalent because women were compared with the Goddess Sati, who fought with death to save her husband.

Often women are regarded as the motherly figure, caregiver, and in the other nurturing roles, which often disregards their sexual nature; a perception that muddles their romantic and sexual relationships. This has also impacted women’s health and wellbeing as many women are unaware of their bodily changes and processes. Female desires and sexuality needs to be normalised in our cultures, religions and societies. The lack of sexual education and the taboo around sexuality have and continue to hinder the growth of women.